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10/20/2003 Entry: "Losing your cool"
Ever "put your foot in it"? Lost your temper then opened your mouth (or put fingers to keyboard) without thinking? I have, and I'm not proud of it. The particular circumstances don't matter, so I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say that I was in the wrong and I make no excuses, except perhaps fatigue.
What interests me about the incident are the reasons behind it. (Bear with me on this - you know I don't go in much for introspection around here) I realise that I got very angry at what someone else had written, not exactly because of what he'd written but because of who'd written it. In others, my anger wasn't arising out of that particular discussion but had more to do with a growing exasperation with the individual. Whether my exasperation was justified or not is immaterial. What matters is that I allowed it to grow to a point where I typed hastily.
Sometimes it's better to "walk away". I should listen to my own advice more often.
The other issue for me here is to with how we relate to others. Some people we take to immediately. Some we 'warm to" over time. Still others we can "either take or leave", never developing strong feelings about them at all. A few (a very few I hope!) rankle deeply and immediately. Every encounter produces a strong urge to reach for the nearest blunt instrument. Sometimes that may be their fault, but more usually it comes from the invisible friction of two personalities generating heat but not light. The encounters can still be creative, but the less affinity we feel with someone the more care we need to take in engaging with them, especially when "meeting" them disembodied over the internet.
I knew that, but allowed myself to forget. I'll try not to let it happen again. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
Replies:
How I wish there were times I walked away from the keyboard too.I have also typed hastily.
Blogging is a tough place sometimes, isn't it? If it doesn't sharpen your social skills, it can finish you.We are lying when we say we don't feel.
I think I am learning from my mistakes because I've been profoundly lucky in linking up to wise and kind people...the operative word being kind....in forgiving me, they have helped me forgive myself and modelled well.
All the comments and interaction I've seen from you, I've never seen you lose it, as in take out right foot, insert left foot.
You are definitely one of the good guys Richard....blog on!
Posted by Bene Diction @ 10/20/2003 07:58 PM CST
