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12/02/2002 Entry: "Three Kings"
Dave Barry [link via Bene Diction], on hearing the words "We three kings of orient are", finds the response "smoking on a rubber cigar" an irresistible temptation. That's a new one to me, and I can't help wondering how the rest of the verse might go. A British schoolboy is far more likely to respond with "one in a bus and one in a car" or even "selling knickers, tuppence a pair", which is easily my favourite.
We three kings of orient areSelling knickers, tuppence a pair.They're fantastic! No elastic!Falling down everywhere.Of course, I share this purely in the interests of transatlantic cultural enrichment, and not because schoolboy humour makes me laugh.Trust me, I'm a minister.
Now, I wonder if I'm brave enough to ask readers to post their favourite Christmas carol alternative lyrics? All together now: "While shepherds washed their socks by night..."
Replies:
Actually, it's "We Three Kings of Orient Are, trying to smoke a rubber cigar. It was loaded and exploded...", "We Two Kings of Orient are...", "We One King of Orient are...", then "Silent Night..." The proper English gets a bit murky after the demise of two kings.
Posted by Ivan The Crank @ 12/04/2002 02:19 PM CST
Hark the herald angels singBeechams Pills are very good thingsIf you want to go to heaven, take a dose of six or seven,If you want to go to hellTake the blooming* box as well!
(*Substituted word if necesary)I had a very irreverent mother.
Posted by Patricia @ 12/02/2002 07:51 PM CST
We three kings of orient areTried to smoke a rubber cigarIt was loaded, it exploded,Silent Night...
Posted by Ian McKenzie @ 12/02/2002 02:26 PM CST
In the chorus of "The angel Gabriel from Heaven came", substitute "Most highly flavoured gravy" for "favoured Lady" ... trouble is, when you know all the funny alternatives, it's harder to sing the right words in the performance!
Posted by alice @ 12/02/2002 02:11 PM CST
