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02/28/2004 Entry: "In the valley"
There are some days when I find it hard being a minister. I hope that doesn't sound self-pitying, because that isn't how I mean it. It's just that the gap between what I do for my crust and who I am in myself is sometimes excruciatingly small and I can't pretend that's comfortable. At the deepest level, ministry is much more about 'being" than "doing", but while that's fine in theory it can be dreadful in reality.
My friend died yesterday. He was a senior lay person in the church and I was his pastor and Superintendent, but that feels irrelevant. He was my friend. Tomorrow I will lead the church in worship, but that worship will come out of shared grief. At this point I still haven't got much idea what I will say when it gets to the sermon. Yes, of course I'll proclaim the resurrection, the "sure and certain hope". But unless I confront my own distress anything I say will be a sham. And, to be truthful, I don't want to.
Alongside this desolation is the fact that today is my daughter's birthday and of course we've had a party. Twenty-nine children and a few brave adults gathered in the Church Hall to wish Ruth "Happy Birthday", and a riotous celebration it was. After the party a couple came to see me about their forthcoming marriage. The cycle of life goes on. I know that.
But my friend has died.
Replies: 8 comments
My prayers are with you.
I would encourage you to share what you have shared here with your congregation. Let them know that you are feeling a loss as well. I am sure that The Lord will guide you in what you do tomorrow and I pray that he will continue to be a comfort to you. I am sorry that you have lost your friend.
Posted by Mike Utech @ 02/28/2004 11:50 PM GMT
Richard, I can give no more than my prayers and even those can sound glib and trite at a time like this. God be with you.
Posted by Ian McKenzie @ 02/29/2004 12:06 AM GMT
Thanks. Please pray for my friend's wife and his sons too.
Posted by Richard @ 02/29/2004 12:14 AM GMT
"Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself...." Our Father is faithful and He shall comfort your heart. You and your beloved friends family are in my prayers. Psalm 27.4
Posted by Larry Gross @ 02/29/2004 06:32 AM GMT
Prayers.
Posted by Wood @ 02/29/2004 09:59 AM GMT
You and your friend's family are in my prayers.
Posted by Andrew Careaga @ 02/29/2004 03:16 PM GMT
Thank you for sharing, Richard. You have the love of friends from across the Pond. Stand boldly and courageously, and do not be afraid. The God of all comfort be with you and your friend's family.
Posted by Theologian Guy @ 02/29/2004 06:26 PM GMT
Through our pulpit exchange two years ago we gained many new friends in Sketty and Swansea, but John was one of those for whom there was an instant connection. He was the one who, just before our departure from Sketty, assigned me my Welsh nickname of Ivan the Crank. Richard, my prayers are with you and the Sketty Church, especially with Pat, Gareth and David and for all who had the privilege of knowing John. We have all lost a friend, but are better people for having known John. I'll miss our instant message times when we both should have been doing something more productive. Now, I'm glad we weren't. Ivan
Posted by Ivan The Crank @ 02/29/2004 06:41 PM GMT
